So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
