They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
