Michael Bay diarrhea
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you never un-have a 4some
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
