and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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