he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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