This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
