Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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