The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Randomize
