I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
