I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
