after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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