Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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