All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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