Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
