Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize