So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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