we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize