Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
