Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
