D3 body, D1 cock
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
