sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
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