Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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