If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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