So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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