Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
