I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
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