i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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