it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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