508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
