listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
