a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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