So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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