I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
