I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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