How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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