gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We have so much sex to catch up on
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize