i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
