So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
