you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
