Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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