I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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