pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
