around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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