Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
