He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
