I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
