I'm lost and stupid without you.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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