I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
