We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
