About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
