I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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