His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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