i don't like sucking hair
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
