EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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