i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Is Oprah even human
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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