Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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