absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
