Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
