And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
