Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
