What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
is wine microwaveable?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
