On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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