sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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