6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize