There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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