the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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