You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
