the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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