I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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